Re-write of an old thing

2 min read

Deviation Actions

AgentOhio93's avatar
By
Published:
477 Views
A while ago I felt like going through old roleplays and seeing how much i've changed, and I found my old roleplay thread 'Lost Memorys' from 2012. And so I ended up re-writing one of my replies. Yeah. Here's the original and the re-write.
_____________________

2012:

Simmons

I look near blue base a see a little bit of crimson, “hm…” I walk over to it and see a cobalt helmet. “Church?” I walked over to the helmet and noticed that the blood lead to the lake in front of blue base, I followed the blood and saw something else that was cobalt. A body. “I think I found him!!” I yelled

2014 (re-write):

    Bright eyes, one green, one red, glance around behind a tinted visor, searching for any hint of the man who he previously called his enemy, but could almost call him a friend now, with all of the things they had been through with their teammates and all.

    A patch of crimson against the spring green grass (the same shade of his human eye), spotted out of the corner of his eye, causes him to stop dead in his tracks.

    The maroon armor-clad cyborg slowly walked over to the patch, noticing that it created a trail of blood, leading towards the lake in front of blue base. He made his way over to the lake, fearing the worst. He felt something against his foot, glancing down to see it was a cobalt helmet, the visor shattered, with crimson spotted across what remained of the tinted glass.

    "..Church?" He mumbled, bending down to pick up the helmet, before standing up and continuing to walk down to the lake, once more stopping dead in his tracks when he spotted someone clad in armor the same color as the helmet he held in his hands floating face up in the water, their exposed dark chocolate brown hair plastered to pale skin.

    He stood frozen for a few seconds, before quickly switching on his radio and hurriedly exclaiming, "I think I found him!" then quickly making his way to the man in the water, dropping the helmet as he ran.
© 2014 - 2024 AgentOhio93
Comments0
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In